Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
