my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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