You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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