i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
