I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
