somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
