I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
