Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
