What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
