Buhtt sex?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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