Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
