i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
