sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
