you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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