so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
