she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
