don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
