At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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