I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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