I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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