worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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