walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
