When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
