goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize