I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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