I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
