At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
