go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
