Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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