Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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