Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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