We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
