you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
