I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
