She's JV to your varsity
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
