Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
