Even my vagina gasped.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
