Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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