i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He felt like a one man threesome
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
