somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
