HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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