he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
