So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
