I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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