will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
