Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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