I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
