So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
