If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
