Heybabeimwearingurpanties
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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