No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
