dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
