Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have demons in me.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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