Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
