i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
