Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize