Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
