Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
